nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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