Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
