I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
