Ambien. No doubt about it.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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