u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
