Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
