you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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