we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We need to rekindle our bromance
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize