So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
