I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Soap is not a condiment
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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