Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize