"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize