I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
