If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Randomize
