So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Let's paint friendship bongs
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
