hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize