Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
