Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
