I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
