I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
