I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
