Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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