i just wanna soil my oats bro
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
