I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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