she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
