TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize