6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
