Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
