Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
