Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
