what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize