i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
And then he peed in my hair
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