ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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