True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
