So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
