brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
