I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
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