You just made me feel so damn special
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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