I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
