we're blogging at a bar
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
