please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
