just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
