Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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