Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
