I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
