In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
she looked like the before picture.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
