We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
