Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
