it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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