Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
