we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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