I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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