I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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