Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
