We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
