VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
