She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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