barbara walters just said penis...
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
It's never too late to be topless.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
