Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
