he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize