Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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