Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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