...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Bring me that man meat
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
