***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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