I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
bring money and cleavage
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
