I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Acid is not a monday night drug
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
