you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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