They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
